I got an idea for a painting today; a woman from chin to hips, her chest open so her heart and part of her lungs are visible. I was thinking of painting it for a friend of mine, Ryan “DJ Gon” Bowman, for his newest musical endeavor. 

I hate to move on to something else feeling like my previous project, the self portrait, is unfinished, but this painting is calling me. I have a problem with starting things and not finishing them, but at the same time I have a problem with overworking certain pieces. I’m worried that if I leave the self portrait as-is I will move on feeling like it isn’t fully complete, but I’m also afraid if I try to perfect the portrait it will end up getting over worked. 

I think the best thing for me to do is move forward with the other piece and try to force myself not to completely give up on the portrait like I usually do. Although, after all this, I really feel like working on the self portrait. 

Talking/thinking in circles certainly won’t help anything get done, so off I am to do something. I’m not quite sure what yet, but I’ve got to get out of this “what if” zone and make something happen.


I find myself naked on my couch eating the crumbs off of a brick of stale granola watching documentaries of successful artists thinking, “will this be in the part about my struggle, or is my whole life just going to be this?”

It’s hard to know, isn’t it?